One might be (foolishly) quick to answer, “roaches, of course.” But those who answer so have likely not had the joy of working with these “treats.” Allow me to let you re-live some choice experiences with me.

First, these things never die on first attempt at annihilation, even when you think you’ve got ‘em good. I have stomped on one before and it’s lived to scurry away. In fact, if you use anything beside a 150 lb anvil, it’s bound to live and taunt you as it finds a new hiding spot. That means if you find one on your wall, you’re not going to kill it unless you punch bare-handed with the force of Mauricio Rua. Throw a shoe at it? It’ll throw it back. Try to capture it with a Tupperware bowl? It’ll make your hand move like a possessed Ouija to the location it wishes to go. It’s disturbing how resilient these suckers are. It’s like they have nine lives like a cat. That’s what they are: they’re cat-roaches and they’re disgusting.

Second, some of them fly and you can never tell which ones. So while you’re planning your mass attack, the little buggah could fly up into your face and stage an attack of its own. Or it may not. You must be on constant guard while you’re planning duo attacks: one for a fly-er and one for a non-fly-er. And if it’s a fly-er, it’s better to surrender before you even start. You’re not going to win. It’s not going to die. Just surrender and deal with the fact that you’re going to have a roach flying around until it wishes to leave.

Third, if you are so lucky to slaughter instead of surrender, be prepared for gore. These things are big and have the circulatory system (or at least juices) to support the large frame. When the obliteration occurs prepare for the location of the battle to be ruined. Carpet? Stanley Steamers is not going to do anything for you. Tile? Now you know why Oxyclean never used Hawaiian roaches to demonstrate its cleansing power. The likeliness of the juices splattering on your skin is somewhere in the range of 99-100% so massive amounts of Dial, Jergens, Dove, and/or Old Spice is necessary to have on hand ready to wash away the disgustingness.

So, snow or roaches?

Yeah, I’d choose roaches too. Get a leash and name it Robbie and call it a day.

I’m in Honolulu for October, November, and December busy pretending I’m a P.T. on my first clinical rotation.

The D.P.T. curriculum allows students to enter the “real world” and practice what we’ve learned after three blocks worth of classroom, or didactic, education (much sooner in the curriculum in comparison to other programs).

Luckily, the education I’ve received at DMU has allowed me to make the most of my time here on the island. Why? Because I know everything already. Okay, not entirely true. Actually, not true at all. But I was so well prepared for my internship that it almost seems easy. Well, not easy, but natural. I do work ten-hour days and have homework every night, but it goes by real quick and easy under the palms.

And the weekends…  ahhh, the weekends. They are usually full of really stressful decisions. Should I wake up early to surf or sleep in and let the songbirds wake me? Should I lay out by the pool or on the beach? Should I hike up Diamond Head or hike on over to Duke’s for a mai tai? I mean, really onerous decisions.

Good thing I have become a master of decision-making thanks to my DMU education.

I send an email to my classmates every week with my “What to Watch For” picks of NCAA football matchups. Below is this week’s installment (including last night’s game). If you’d like to receive my picks each week, just comment below with your email address and I’ll save you a spot on the highly coveted “CC list.”

Thursday
Clemson v #15 GA Tech – 6:30 p.m., ESPN
The Ramblin Wreck are planning a white-out @ Bobby Dodd. Every game between ’96 and ’06 were decided by less than 5 pts. It’s gonna be a good one. I had 2 cousins go to Clemson but I believe in Paul Johnson.

Saturday
Iowa v ISU – 11:05 a.m., FSN
Iowa, this is not your year. Paul, do it buddy. Do it big. ISU.

Troy v #1 Florida – 11:20 a.m., ESPN360
I think it’s funny they’re taking “heat initiatives” for the game in the Swamp. It’s gonna be hot and it’s probably gonna be ugly. Are we taking bets yet on where the life-size statue of Tebow is going and what traditions will ensue post-establishment?

#9 BYU v Tulane – 2:30 p.m., ESPN2
Look for my brother on TV (athletic director for Tulane and pretty good looking guy)! After last week, my extreme dislike for the Cougars has grown exponentially. Let’s see if my brother’s school can avenge the respect taken from my sister’s school (she’s an OU alum). I’m going to say they probably can’t.

#18 ND v Michigan – 2:30 p.m., ABC
How much does Rich regret his life choices right now? Yikes. Notre Dame is ranked 18th because they’re Notre Dame. It’s at Ann Arbor so I’m giving Blue the edge… and because I’m bitter ND is ranked. Nevada was marginally impressive; let me see what you can do outside of South Bend, Charlie. Probably not much.

UCLA v Tennessee – 3 p.m., ESPN
If you’ve been keeping up with this game throughout the years then you know it’s not particularly friendly… and it became particularly ugly last year (the beginning of the end for Fulmer). Insert Kiffin and it’s a “whole new ball game.” Neuheisel, welcome to Knoxville, where everyone hates you. Tennessee got some votes this past week and I’m predicting they’ll get more after Saturday.

South Carolina v #21 UGA – 6 p.m., ESPN2
Georgia was the only SEC team to lose last week. That means folks are calling for his job. So it goes in the SEC. It will be close, but the Dawgs will get a W in Athens.

Miss State v Auburn – 6 p.m., ESPN360
I broke my hand while pounding a table watching this game last year. You may remember the final score: 3-2. THREE TO TWO. My tigers are going to win again, and hopefully without a return to the ER.

#3 USC v #8 THE Ohio State – 7 p.m., ESPN
THE most overrated rivalry in the history of rivalries. Perhaps THE most overrated team this year/EVERY year. What a joke. OSU could barely escape Navy; I can’t imagine what they’ll do against SC. And yet I’d slightly enjoy seeing them take it just so USC loses. Picking this game is choosing the lesser of two evils so I hope the final score is something like, I don’t know, 3-2 so that neither team gains respect. Someone will win and improve their rank and that will be the topic of my rant next week.

Kendall in the kitchen

I like to cook.

When I say I like to cook, really I mean cater because I don’t like to cook for myself and I don’t really like to cook for two… I like cooking for parties of 10 or more. I recently set a record and cooked a three-course meal for thirty people.

My apartment was cramped but I finally solved the question, “How many people can I fit in my living room?” Something that had really been weighing on me and obviously a way more important question than anything like “How long should I leave a TENS unit on a patient?”

Nothing makes me happier than filling my house and feeding people. So stop me in the hall and let me know when I can cook for you. My only request is you bring twenty friends.

You may know the EYB from tunes such as “When it Rains” and “Always the Love Songs.” But, trust me, they have WAY more to offer than just those two (check out “Level,” “Guardian Angel,” “Guinevere,” “Show You How to Love Again” and “I Call the Tune”). I have been a HUGE fan of the Band since 2006, but they rarely travel outside of Texas and Oklahoma so seeing them perform live has been pretty much impossible… until now. Des Moines, Iowa… who would have thought?

I attended the Big Country Bash for the sole purpose of catching their act, and had an awesome time the rest of the nine-or-so hours I stayed in Water Works Park taking in all the music, beverages and peculiar outfits (apparently clothing was optional. I wasn’t aware. I’ll know for next time). When I was about to leave, I saw a man attempting to do a pull-up at a Marines tent/recruiting station set up at the Bash. His “technique” was hilarious and I started to say, “Wow, look at this guy…” when I realized it was MIKE ELI of the Eli Young Band! I immediately froze and was pretty much speechless except for I blurted out “AHK! Eli Young Band!”

Mike & Jon from EYB with ME!

My dear friend and fellow Bash reveler, Jaime, convinced me to go over to them but I remained verklempt and exceptionally awkward and the only word I got out was “Picture?” After the picture, I believe I SKIPPED off and SQUEALED with delight (normal… totally normal).

I was kind of embarrassed by the way things went. I mean, re-playing the situation in my mind I would have said much more than, “picture?” and would have opted NOT to make high-pitched noises. I really wanted to tell them that their music is an important part of my life and that I use their lyrics to get me through trying times. So I decided to step up the awkwardness one more level and write in to the radio station I thought they were going to be on the next morning. Unfortunately, I sent it to the wrong station (yes, there are TWO country stations in Des Moines), so I sent it to the other once I caught my mistake the next day. The radio station producer wrote me back saying, “I definitely remember you. I think the guys will too. I’ll forward your message.”

So, EYB, I hope you got my message! Thanks for the pic! Thanks for the music!
And thank you Des Moines for bringing in such great acts. Looking forward to seeing more!

Well hello there, Mr. Gondolier!

The D.P.T. curriculum is three full years of non-stop excitement and fun. Unlike other programs on campus (ahem… D.O.s… ahem… D.P.M.s… ahem), we have classes scheduled straight through the summer. We do, however, get a two-week break at the beginning of June for some well deserved rest and relaxation.

Not being a fan of rest nor relaxation, I prepared a little something special for my mini-vaca. I hopped on a plane and headed to Italy, Slovenia and Croatia for exploration, adventure and family time.

The denim-on- denim look is so HOTT.

My journey began in Rome, which I have dubbed “The Land of No Speed Limits and Five o’Clock Shadows by 10 a.m.” Going fast and manly scruff being two things I have great appreciation for, I L-O-V-E-D Rome. I saw it all: the Vittorio Emanuele II Monument (aka the “Wedding Cake”), Piazza Navone, the Pantheon, the Trevi Fountain, the Spanish Steps, Castel Sant Angelo, the Vatican, the Sistine Chapel, Saint Peter’s Basilica, the Colosseum, the Forum, Circus Maximus, and lots of Europeans wearing all-denim ensembles (jacket, vest, pants, bag… definitely a sight to behold).

After Roma, I ventured north to see a leaning building and drink (a good amount of) Tuscan wine. I stopped in Florence to visit David, the Duomo, the Uffizi, the Ponte Vecchio and to drink more wine.

After sobering up from my first week in Europe, I met the rest of my family in Venice. Together we marveled at San Marco Square, the coordination of gondoliers, and how amazingly good-looking we all are (seriously, my family is stellar in the looks department, as is evident by my photos).

Waiting for Russell and Joaquin to show up at any moment.

We caught a cruise and headed to Slovenia and Croatia where we visited family (I’m Croatian!), and saw all that we could in Rovinj, Split and Dubrovnik. We danced, we laughed, we attempted water sports, we tried to limit our inappropriateness, we took lots of pictures and we enjoyed being “us.”
I did a lot during my two weeks. I explored many new places, had many ridiculous adventures, but most importantly, I got family time.

It’s fun to take goofy pictures with revered statues of other countries (Split, Croatia). Boom, roasted.

My family is dispersed all across the country and we rarely get the chance to reunite. Previous to this trip, it had been more than a year since we had all been together.

I have to admit that family-togetherness was not what I was looking forward to most in anticipation of the trip, but it’s what I miss the most now that I’m back. Well, that, and the jean-on-jean look. So I highly recommend you spend your next vaca with the fam, be it in Italy, Croatia or Iowa.

There is a strong chance my family is cooler than yours.

During a recent posture lab, it was discovered that I always hold my head with a slight tilt to the right. I immediately thought this had to do with the obvious fact that the left side of my neck is exceptionally graceful and my body just has this innate tendency to show it off. But then I thought more scientifically and decided instead this is clear proof that the right side of my brain is overly dominant.

Running through the “Right Brain Functions” is like a checklist of how I live my life. Big picture. Check. “Getting it” vs. comprehending it. Check. Appreciate instead of acknowledge. Check. Know function but not name… I mean who really cares if I know the name of the manipulation I am performing as long as I know it’s needed and it’s working? (Definitely CHECK.)

Perhaps it is somewhat troubling that as a future doctor I will tend to use more feeling than logic and have more belief than knowledge (although I’m positive my fine DMU education will serve me well); but is that really a bad thing? Perhaps emotion, belief, appreciation,and focus on possibilities is what healthcare needs. I can’t wait to provide my patients with a little “Kendall-tilt” care. I hope they’re willing to lean a little too… specifically to the left, so we can see eye-to-eye.

How did I come to this conclusion? I was (self) diagnosed with Toomuchstudyitis, was getting kind of restless, and needed an excuse to celebrate. I thought, “Why not celebrate an entire week for no real reason at all?” Done and done. Here are the details:

Saturday, May 2:

To kick off the BEST WEEK EVER I attended the first Downtown Farmer’s Market of the season! I ate. I bought things. I ate some more. In anticipation of the market resumption, I had created list of vendors I needed to see; “needed to see” meaning I had the need to repeatedly try their samples until I accumulated a meal-like portion. I did just that and left the market fantastically satisfied.

Saturday also marked the 135th running of the Kentucky Derby. I hosted a party complete with benedictine sandwiches, derby pie and, of course, mint juleps. Nobody bet the winner (Mine That Bird) but nobody cared after enjoying the outrageously hilarious post-race interviews of the owner, trainer and jockey (if you watched, you know what I’m talking about). After watching the Derby, I stumbled upon the greatest TV channel ever: RFDTV. Rural Free Delivery TV is phenomenal. My guests and I were captivated for four straight hours by “The Midwest Country Music Theater,” which is kind of like a middle-aged, bedazzled version of “American Idol.” Intermixed in this delightful presentation were commercials for wind up radios. I have never before seen or heard of these, but I am now very interested in purchasing at least one… maybe sixteen. Check your local listings for RFDTV and try your best to catch “Music Theater.” You will not be disappointed.

Sunday, May 3:

This is my asterisk to the week-o-fun. I actually did stuff that needed to be done. We’ll just say the 3 is my Barry Bonds to the BEST WEEK EVER’s record of continuous entertainment.

Monday, May 4:

The Iowa Cubs have a deal called “Dollar Days” that enables patrons to get a ticket to the game, a snack, and a drink for a dollar each. This is an amazing arrangement for anyone, but especially for loan-ridden medical school students. I went to the game with some of my fellow D.P.T. ’11s and had the opportunity to meet students from other programs while “watching” the game. Mingling was definitely one of my objectives for the BEST WEEK EVER and I am pleased the D.O.s and D.P.M.s were receptive to my “aggressive friending.”

Tuesday, May 5:

The initial notion of a BEST WEEK EVER began with this date. After hour six at the library one day, it donned on me that Cinco de Mayo was going to be on Taco Tuesday! I had been reviewing the gait cycle and my thought process was, “Heel off… toe off… oh my goshm Cinco de Mayo is on Taco Tuesday. It’s like ‘the perfect storm.’” I immediately sent an email to everyone I could think of alerting them of this glorious situation and requesting their support of my attempt to extend the merriment for a whole week. My friends concurred that the circumstances warranted excessive celebration and consented to showing up in espousal of my endeavor.

Almost every week, I and a group of D.P.T. ’11s go to the Yankee Clipper in Ankeny to partake in Taco Tuesday deliciousness. The Clipper tacos are $3, huge and exceptionally scrumptious. Since this week was special, the regulars and I recruited quite a number of classmates to join us.

The arduous trip to Ankeny was supplemented with streamers. I decided it was necessary to deck out the car with orange and blue crepe paper. Good decision on my part because it turns out crepe paper truly adds delight to a drive.

I checked out Courtney’s blog post concerning where to find Cinco de Mayo festivities in Des Moines and decided that El Patio was the spot to hit up after the Clipper. It was a good choice; margaritas and debauchery ensued.

Wednesday, May 6:

I am a broke med school student who has trouble abstaining from anything that can be described as “a good time.” I have a lot of good times that don’t involve money, but in order to continue to allow myself to create and partake in week-long celebrations, I’ve realized I probably need a job. I got one on Wednesday! You are reading the words of the newest member of the library assistant crew. My good times will now take place between the hours of 3:30 p.m. and midnight at the front desk of the DMU library. Stop by to join in the fun.

Thursday, May 7:

Thursday night I had a date. Actually, this wasn’t special because I have a date every Thursday night… at 7 p.m.… with the TV. I don’t watch TV that often but I have become quite involved in Survivor this season. I’ve never watched the show before so a lot of the time I don’t really know what’s going on or why the cast is employing a certain strategy, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is J.T. is one of the remaining castaways and therefore every week I can watch him perform ridiculous feats of strength while listening to his sweet, sweet southern twang. Seriously, J.T. is amazing and I do not miss our date… every Thursday… at 7 p.m… on CBS. Not even when it’s the BEST WEEK EVER.

Friday, May 8:

I had a lot of fun to accomplish on Friday. I definitely overbooked myself, but was up to the challenge. The day’s entertainment began with a lunch trip to Manhattan Deli. Manhattan Deli is a small shop on Ingersoll that boasts a delectable array of sandwiches and desserts. I had eaten at the Deli a couple times previously and was excited to try yet another one of their appetizing options. My choice did not disappoint and although I don’t remember the name of the particular sandwich I enjoyed, it doesn’t matter. You can throw a dart at the menu and you’re sure to get something tasty.

The next task on the list-o-fun was Clive After Five. Clive After Five is an “outdoor event featuring bands and cold drinks in a social atmosphere” that takes place at Linnan Park every Friday evening throughout the summer. I enjoyed the band, the cold drinks, and the social atmosphere… or what I refer to as “the trifecta.”

Immediately following Clive After Five, I was escorted to Volley’s beach volleyball park to dominate the sand. My accomplices assured me that it didn’t matter I am 5’2”, un-athletic, and haven’t played volleyball in over eight years. They were right. Volley’s is a wonderful place where height, athleticism and ability are irrelevant. Beverage consumption assists in leveling the playing field as well and is considered an integral part of the Volley’s experience. After a couple hours of imbibing, humming “Highway to the Danger Zone” and pretending I know how to spike, I headed home to prepare for the grand finale to my BEST WEEK EVER.

Saturday, May 9:

The conclusion to my week of continuous entertainment started bright and early. The DMU College of Health Science had decided to sign up as a group to work a local Habitat for Humanity project in northeast Des Moines. The D.P.T. ’11s and I worked side by side with DMU PA students and Drake Law School students to help clean and rebuild a neighborhood in need. I helped build a retaining wall and paint a roof, but my favorite undertaking of the day was eating all the wonderful homemade goodies the homeowners provided for us.

After a couple hours of hard work and snacking, I made my way to the Tulip Time Festival in Pella, IA. I had heard stories of Tulip Time from friends and family and had been looking forward to experiencing all its grandeur myself. Pella did not disappoint. The wooden shoes, the Tulip Queens, the Dutch letters and the tractor competitions coalesced into the perfect culmination of the BEST WEEK EVER.

Everyone needs a “pick-me-up” every now and again. I encourage everyone to get creative and plan their very own BEST WEEK EVER!

*Please note that I did attend all my regularly scheduled classes while participating in the BEST WEEK EVER. I had my business socks on when it was business time and my party dress on when it wasn’t. 

When you’re in med school and all your friends are in med school, it’s easy to get caught up in the details. You get bogged down with tests, grades and the infinite excess of information you’re expected to absorb. It’s good to have someone tell you “it’s just a test.” It’s important to have someone to remind you one bad grade is not the end of the world. 

I’m thankful to have my cousin. I appreciate her perceptions and sense of humor. It’s essential for every one in med school to have an “outsider” with whom to share experiences and frustrations.

Be sure to pick out your someone before you come to DMU and keep them involved while you’re here.

March Madness is finally over. How about that game last night?

Pretty sure I just got fouled for even thinking of Tyler Hansbrough. Seriously, you come within a foot of that guy and he’s shooting two. 

The good news is college football is only 151 days, 9 hours, 10 minutes and 36 seconds away. I am AMPED. Who’s with me?