A hilarious take on something seriously bad

June 6, 2013 —

Because I firmly believe laughing frequently makes a person feel better and more healthy, I couldn’t resist sharing a recent post on National Public Radio’s health/food blog, “The Salt,” about something that decidedly won’t enhance one’s health: Dunkin’ Donuts new Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich.

At least you know this can't be good for you.

At least you know this can’t be good for you. (Photo: NPR)

In the post, a version of the sandwich, which will be offered by the chain nationally starting tomorrow, was designed, dissected and deconstructed by staff of the hilarious NPR program “Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me” (another laugh-producer I highly recommend). Consisting of fried eggs and bacon nestled in a split glazed doughnut, the gut-buster was described by the “Wait Wait” staff as a “first step in my transition to an entirely glazed-based diet,” “a breakfast that forces me to take a nap right after waking up” and “a complete breakfast,” in that eating one fulfills a person’s “lifetime quota of breakfasts.”

Now, while I love a good glazed doughnut as much as any card-carrying member of the Krispy Kreme Club, I’d say this latest breakfast offering is all kinds of wrong. But what’s even more wrong, as reported by the Huffington Post’s Candice Choi, is that Dunkin’ Donuts says the Glazed Donut Heart Attack weighs in at 360 calories – less than the 390-calorie turkey sausage sandwich the chain recently introduced for people looking to eat better.

We all know by now that fast food is rarely our friend other than in the speed and convenience in which it meets our love of fat, salt and sugar. Cases in point: Check out Huff Post’s “10 fast food inventions that completely blew our minds” at the bottom of the page linked above. Images of Kentucky Fried Chicken’s “Double Down” sandwich, Pizza Hut’s two-foot-long “Bigfoot Pizza” and Burger King’s “Cheesy Tots” should make you step away from the order counter.

Rather than beat a path to your nearest Dunkin’ Donuts, I suggest you take a long walk with a fun friend, do some polka- or swing-dancing, crack open a humorous read or track down a funny movie. The laughter you experience will be 360 times better for you than any 360-plus-calorie fast-food breakfast.


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